Superficia

I find myself singularly unable to get behind one of the latest fashion trends: vast, billowy pinafore-like tunics, frequently designed with empire waists, fluffy sleeves and loose pleating.

I've been searching myself as to why. Why do they always look blowsy and unattractive to me, no matter what airbrushed, stick-thin model is wearing one on TV?

I am just too old? It does seem that somewhere in my thirties, I unknowingly crossed the line between 'young and hip' and 'old and clueless'. Or does the tunic and tight pants style generally trigger too many dark flashbacks to the eighties? Honestly, I think my feelings about Pat Benetar are mostly positive.

I probed my associations with the style. There wasn't much, other than sexual infantilism and creepy Alice in Wonderland nightmares. Then it hit me: they're like especially shapeless maternity smocks, but without the bump to fill them, and without the glowing (or puking) aura of pregnancy to make them make aesthetic sense. And they're being marketed to--and modeled on--teenaged girls and young women who have no business (not to mention body fat) being pregnant.

Ah, mystery solved. I really feel we've made a breakthrough in this session...